Getting Stuck, Getting Un-Stuck
In life, we fall in to patterns. Something we do kind of works for us one time, so we do it again. It kind of works again, so we keep repeating that particular way of doing it until we get to the point where we don’t even think about it. It’s second nature.
Some patterns are helpful. When I was learning Final Cut Pro, the interface seemed overwhelming. I learned the basics, did them every day the same as the day before and soon enough I *knew* how to edit a video in Final Cut. I added skills every day, but the basic pattern or workflow was the same. After awhile, something that took me 3-4 hours started to only take me 1-2. An extra three hours knocked off a days work leaves time to go to a movie. 
Other patterns turn out to be harmful. They still start the same way though. You do something and it works so you continue it. I grew up enjoying politics as a game. It involves strategy and debate, and if you get good at it, you get to play on the cable channels on TV. When I first developed an interest in politics, I guess the people around me shared it because I never initially experienced playing the game as a negative thing. Fun, lively and even aggressive debate was something that once only brought me positive experiences.
As an adult though, I’ve been surprised to discover most other adults do not pay attention to what is happening in Washington for hours every day. The Sunday Morning political roundtables may be the place I bonded to my grandfather, but they’re not on most people’s radar. In the past few months it has been a revelation to me to learn that chances are more likely someone won’t want to argue politics with me than that they will. Good to know.
The first step in overcoming a negative pattern is to understand it as a problem. If you don’t regard it as a problem, you won’t fix it. If you’re stuck, but are blissfully unaware that you’re stuck, why would you try? You’re in a pattern because it initially worked for you, but when you learn that it causes problems for people in you life, you begin to understand it wasn’t working for you after all and THAT becomes your motivation to get unstuck–to change.
Unless there is a physical addiction or emotional dependence involved, change isn’t really as difficult as we want to make it. Finding out it is a problem is a beginning, but understand how it is a problem for people you care about is the key to getting unstuck. You want to get unstuck because you care.
The way to change is to change. You set your mind to a different course and you follow it. You walk in that new direction and find new positive patterns that work for you AND for the people around you. It takes some time before you are not inclined to fall back into the old patterns, but you’ll find getting unstuck is almost always as hard or as easy as you expect it to be.
One Response to “Getting Stuck, Getting Un-Stuck”
Leave a Reply
I’m one of those people who feels strongly about political issues but hates to discuss, or “argue” them. It seems that the more important the topic the less likely it is that “debate” or “arguing” will change anyone’s mind. No one really “wins” these arguments; everyone just leaves hating their opposition a little more for being so thick-headed. Maybe that’s not always the case, but that sure is the way it feels.
On a brighter note I have managed a positive change in the past few weeks: getting up earlier. My flexible work schedule makes it way too easy to hit snooze repeatedly. It’s a small change and I’m not sure what made my constant attempts at it finally work, but they did. Maybe I should change something else too.
Thanks for sharing Neal. Have a great day. (Happy Australia Day, BTW.)