Luria (Cali) & Me
I was blessed to be married to Luria for eleven years. She left home in January and just announced on her blog that she is divorcing me. We’ve continued to produce GeekBrief.TV together and I’ve tried everything I could to save the marriage. She wants something different and I wish her peace and joy. I loved her because of her kindness and she has continued to be kind to me throughout this transition.
I’ve been standing with one foot in my old life with her and one foot in my new life without her. How I feel depends on the direction I’m looking. I’ve had time to cry, pray, go to counseling, go to church, read books, talk to people who have gone through this before, and by now, I’m doing pretty okay. Pray for us both if you pray.
That’s all I’ll say about the personal stuff. Follow me on Twitter if you want to know what’s next professionally. It’s much more shiny and much more happy than this.
Thanks for watching!
Neal
88 Comments
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I’m praying for both of you. You’ve both been inspirational, and regardless of where life may lead you, know that you both have fans, friends, and family to count on.
I’m sorry bro. I’ll pray for you both.
You know how much I care for you and you know you have SO MANY PEOPLE who’ve been praying and wishing that things would get better. Choices are made now and each of you will live with those choices; and I know your choices were good and God will bless for those choices. Trust in that, my friend. I sincerely wish the best for both of you.
Well Brother,
You two know how much Kat and I love y’all. I know that as time passes, this bowl of lemons will be two nice pitchers of lemonade. Y’all have our love and support. We’re praying for you both.
-dave (@davecurlee)
Neal – I am incredibly saddened by this news, and my heart breaks for both of you. I do pray, and you will both be in my prayers for a long time.
Neal,
I am a youth pastor from indiana and I will be praying for you as you process and adjust to the next adventure in life
We have a big God and He is at work in this
I am putting this matter, the business and your relationships to prayer
Hang in there and rest on the Lord
Jeremiah 29:11. He knows your plans
Sorry Neal. I will always be a fan with the Brief. You do seem so sad lately.
Your fan, Golden girl Helene
I’m so sorry, Neal. I’m praying for you.
Neal,
Sorry to hear the news. I can only imagine what it would be like. I’m not the praying kind, but I will definitely do what I can to send some positive vibes your way.
Very sad news. Life does go on and I look forward to your next professional endeavor.
I’ve enjoyed your work with Luria and I guess if it can happen to Sonny and Cher it can happen to anyone.
Thanks for all the fish.
Bill
Neal,
You know I care about both of you and you are in our prayers. I’m always here for you.
@giovanni
Neal,
As a fan of the both Cali and you the news makes me sad. You both are in my thoughts and prays. God bless you both.
so sorry to hear the recent news. i am hoping the best for both of you. hang in there and stay strong.
Neal,
I wish both of you the best. Your partnership has brought us tech news in easily digestible bites for years. If killing geekbrief is best for the relationship weather together or apart as a fan I think we’ll understand.
All the best in this troubled times.
A Fan.
I am shocked and saddened for you and for Cali. What a tweet! Please know you have taught me a lot. Don’t stop!
I’ll be praying for both of you…
Well here comes the squicky wheel. Neal, God hates divorse. Divorce is sin and usually the result of people unwilling to forgive. Don’t let people convince you it just part of life to go through. Don’t accept it. Fight for your wife!
Good luck Neal. From personal experience I know that life is what you make it, and the best times may be just around the corner. Enjoy the ride.
Neal,
You know that we are all fervently praying for you and Cali. We pray that God opens door, closes the ones he wants shut and provides direction. You know you have my support in whatever is next for you and Cali. You are such an awesome person and I pray that you have peace, joy and hope. Love you bro!
Anthony
Neal,
I know that the road you’re on is not an easy one. I also know that even though it may not feel like it at times, your lives will be better in the long run. Hang in there and take care of yourself. I wish you the best of luck in your personal and professional aspirations and hope you won’t need it.
You are both in my prayers. God help you through this painful time.
You are both in my prayers. God help you through this painful time.
Neal,
Everyone seems to be commenting on Cali’s blog that being happy is what counts.
Yet “happiness” is fleeting and peace with God is forever. Hang on to that peace friend… He’ll never leave or forsake you.
My prayers remain for both of you and again I’m so thankful to call you friends.
I wish this on no one. Sorry to hear about this, whatever the cause. I’m a church tech guy so I’m a praying, tech-loving geek. I’ll definitely be praying for you guys.
Neal,
You will always have my support and friendship.
@marktayl0r
You’ve have given us love through you’re efforts and bringing a top notch professional podcast to the world. There is a plan and a path for us all (if we choose to follow it), even if we don’t understand it’s direction or meaning.
I’ve been through what you’re going through once myself. There’s no easy answers or quick fixes.
My answers came from our Creator. No, I’m not a preacher.
My hopes and prayers will be that he will guide you to your path and where you need to be.
#17 Al Soto,
I assume you’re a fellow Christ-follower and well intentioned, but Godly counsel such as yours is meant to be shared privately between yourself and the parties involved. You either do not personally know Neal and Luria and therefore do not fully understand the situation, or you are friends with the couple and chose to pontificate and chastise Neal publicly through his own blog. Either is unwise and unacceptable.
I take Neal at his word when he says he has prayed and fought for the two of them to stay together. I refer you to Luke 6:41-42 and Galatians 6:1-2 on how you and I as believers can support them more appropriately.
I’ll keep you both in my prayers.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28
I will pray for both of you. Trouble is that when one spouse makes such a pronouncement, they may have given up and resolved that the only solution is to terminate the marriage. From what I heard from early episodes of GB, I’d guess that you both entered into a Christian marriage, which is a lifetime commitment; with such a bond the priorities are God, family, and then others. I suggest that you both do what you can to rescue your marriage. Have you seen the movie Fireproof? God took my 1st wife from me through the exit door marked Cancer after more than 12 years. Now with 14 years on a second lifetime marriage commitment, I’d say that working through the seemingly insurmountable problems was the path that God intended for us.
If you can both work together to produce something like Geek Brief, then I challenge you to tackle the problems facing your marriage. If necessary bury Geek Brief and restore the life of your union.
Please excuse my forwardness. Your relationship plans are none of my business. However, I will pray to our all mighty God that you will both humble yourselves and revitalize what seems dead.
Loving concern from a Christian brother.
Real low-class move calling Cali out as in “she left home” and “she is divorcing me”. Even if it’s the case, the particulars are none of the ‘net’s business. Take the high road.
#17 Al Soto,
Divorce isn’t sin. Got hates divorce but allows for it. And more importantly, God is bigger than any of our situations or sin.
Try making the assumption that Neal has been in deep prayer, searching the scriptures and seeking much counsel throughout this situation. Pray for him and be an encourager.
Use my words as oil for your squeaky wheel.
@davecurlee
Very sorry to hear about your breakup. I never got to meet you in person but I have great respect for all the hard work you’ve put into GeekBrief and the show you’ve built over the years. Stay strong and be happy.
I’ve prayed. Now it’s time to move on. I wish you both the best in whatever you do in the future.
How about giving us something along the lines of “How to do video” since you seem to be really good at it.
Best of luck in your next endeavors, Neal. It must be difficult to part ways after spending so many years with someone.
I don’t want to divert the course of the comments, but for fairness’ sake, I feel compelled to note Cali’s statement was more “fair” than yours. You mention her blog states she is divorcing you, but she actually wrote you both are “in the process of a divorce”, which makes it more neutral in my opinion. Your additional statements such as “she left home in January” and “she wants something different” give a slight hint of finger-pointing, in my opinion.
I don’t know either of you and have no personal gain “defending” any one in particular. It’s just that your statement could have been more neutral.
Again, best of luck to you on your future projects.
Charles, you misuse Scripture. Luke 6:41-42 is not teaching us not to judge, but not to judge in hypocrisy (see John 7:24 for support). A true believer has removed the log in their eye and are commanded by God to remove specks (i.e. sin) of others (2 Tim 2:24-26). It is true love to rebuke (Proverbs 27:5-6) openly, although I do not believe I was doing that, because it sounds like it is Neal who does not want the divorce but rather Luria. Regardless of the details Neal and Luria must understand that divorce is sin against God and those who desire to divorce are hatting God and His commands. I say this out of love and fear of God. It is because of the terror of the Lord that I try to persuade (2 Cor 5:11). I understand this is not the popular thing to say, but a much needed thing to be said. Neal, I am sorry to hear of this. And no, it is not “lo-class” to speak the truth.
@JL,
Agreed. You posted while I was writing my comment regarding the same sentiment. I’m glad I’m not the only one that felt a “finger-pointing” vibe.
Dave, divorce is not sin??
Mark 10:10-12 (New King James Version)
10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. 11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18
“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.
1 Cor 7:
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
Malachi 2:16
“ For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “ Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
I’m sorry, but I stand by my assertion that we should not judge others, hypocrisy or not. I also stand by my assertion that this is a matter between God, Neal and Luria, and that neither you, nor I, should do anything publicly but encourage and lovingly support the two of them.
I know you’re saying what you’re saying out of love for a brother, but it really should be taken private.
What do you say to something like that? Be strong, Be righteous, Move on!
GodSpeed…
mw
However let me say this-If it is true that Neal has done all he can do, does not desire the divorce yet can not convince Luria to stay, then he should let her go in peace.
1 Cor 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
I said it over there but will say it here
I am sorry to hear about this and will send up prayers for both of you.
I think that if a door is closed a window will open. I think both of you will find the open window soon.
Well, Charles perhaps you are correct on the private issue would be best, but sad to say. . .it was made public.
Some verses on correcting, judging et al.
John 7:24 (New King James Version)
24 Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.”
1 Corinthians 2:15 (New King James Version)
15 But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one.
(read the following: 1 Cor 6:2-3, 10:15, 14:29, Romans 16:17, 2 tim 2:24, 1 Cor 5:12).
Good night.
Al
Let it go! Man! A brother is hurting and we’re trying to out-seminary each other!
Neal, I wrote you privately what I feel for you and what you’re going through.Then I saw your tweet and the link to this blog. What I will add here is the famous truism that you cannot control what happens to you, but only how you react to it. You WILL get through this, as so many of us have. Whether this is salvageable or not, it 10 more years you’ll look back on it as something you go through that helped to make you the Neal you are today (the today of ten years from now).
I’ll pray for you. Yes, we Jews do that, too
Your friend,
Dr. Mark
eyedocmark.com
eyedocmark@gmail.com
I think the most genuine way (in the Net culture) to express equal sentiments to both of you is to post the same to your blog as I did to hers:
I’m very sorry for both of you upon hearing this news. If you’ll (both) accept a few words from one who has been through it: work hard to keep it amicable (as it seems you are doing). Do nothing out of anger, jealousy, or any negative emotion. Do nothing in any effort to punish or to “teach a lesson.” Keep in mind the goal of getting it done, and getting it done as cleanly as possible. Do not let it become ugly, because it will never get prettier and in some small way a fragment of it will be with you always. Work hard to make that fragment something you can tolerate carrying with you everywhere for the rest of your life.
Also, ditto #44 Charles
May God grant you both the serenity and wisdom that you need, Neal. This, for whatever reason, is just another part of your life journey.
Love and respect,
Mel
All you christian peopel talk like neal is good and cali is bad for leaving him. but why she leave him???
my mom have to leave my dad cuz he drink and violent! Sorry neal, but how we know you not cause of her leavign? My dad also very christin but hide all bad stuff. we go to church and people thins he so nice but at home he get drunk and hit us and yell and vrey mean!
you say cali very kind, so was my mom! but you talk about HER leave YOU. She didn’t say that YOU did. Why did she leave you? Why you give those detail and not other? Do you get driunk? Do you yell at her? WHY SHE LEFT?
I dont think its fair you akuse her like YOU try but she doesn’t. You make it sound like she just leave but never try. i sorry if she just bad but you say you try everything like she try nothing. you sound like my dad.
Wow, I’m shocked by the last comment…there are two sides to every story but neither Cali nor Neal’s blog reveals enough to make judgments either way. Either way, I’m sure they were both involved…marriage takes two and divorce takes two….best of luck to both of you.
Yeah, Shocked, TechBlogger made similar comments on Cali’s blog, and she’s clearly biased toward Cali because of an event in her early childhood. Another reason why I think they should both turn off comments.
Neal,
I’m a youth pastor at a large church and my wife left me back in January as well so I can tell you with the most painful understanding that I feel for you. You put it into excellent words what I have been feeling as I go through this process so thank you for that. Please ignore as best you can those people who are making hurtful, unhelpful comments and know that there are many more out there who are praying for you, even if you don’t know them.
Keep your head up and try to stay positive through this. It sounds like you have some really helpful people in your life, lean on them now. Peace and God Bless.
as I told Cali, my thoughts are with you both.
despite the ideal that gets preached, you can’t let what others say direct you to be bitter. there is no ill intent in love. you seem like a man of deep consideration and prayer, so you will be fine. it will hurt, the process may be long. if you always respond with kindness and consideration, things will turn out for the best.
i’ve been thru this “process” a long time ago. when you love someone, knowing them from yet another vantage point is still a great opportunity. if there are differences, you must both move to where you are both happy and productive. that is God’s true intent for our earthly lives.
Neal, what can I say. I was in the same situation like you with my previous girlfriend. She was everything in my life and she decided to leave. I though life was over, but it was not.
Now I have been 12 years with my current girlfriend and we just had a baby (Kai).
I’m the happiest person in earh.
I’m sad you have to go through this, but live goes on. Try to be good friends with her. I’m still am with my ex.
Best
d a n i : )
Neal,
I will be praying for you and Cali. God bless you both.
-Michael
I hope this gets as painless as possible to both of you.
I don’t think there is any meaning to tell you divorce, or don’t. I wish I had a way to keep you together, you both know the reasons for this separation.
God Bless you.
Dear Neal,
sorry to hear this news and on one site I am curious to see how this will affect geekbrief.tv, but on the other more important site you are in first place. I know it is a tough time for both of you and that things are not easy in this time period. So take your time and try always to remember that there was a time where you loved each other and try to use that during this period too.
After every heavy storm the sun will shine again.
Big friendly hug
Fil
I am praying for you both!
As far back as I remember married couples have been my heroes, and it crushes me every time I see a marriage undone. Although I don’t know either one of you, you have both become, in a sense, friends. Holding together a marriage in the spotlight, as you two have, is a mighty burden, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Even in your brief statement, your sadness over this is made apparent. I wish you all the best. My prayers go out to you both.
Always know that when you seek to honor God above all else, the rest is just a product of the first. We are human and therefore make mistakes but it is what we choose to do with the wisdom gained from the mistakes that makes us who we are. It sounds like you both are beginning the healing process but give yourself time to grieve.
I will continue to pray for both of you and please let me know if there is anything specific I can pray for.
Dear Neal,
Sorry for the news. Hope things get back on track soon.
Wow, I cant believe Luria did this to you. After the fact you made her and geekbrief.tv what it is today. That is not very tactfull to anounce on her blog she is divorcing you. Well i dont think I can ever watch her on the show ever again. Neal you seam like a nice guy and I wish you well.
- An Ex-Devoted Geekbrief.tv fan
i know what your going though fella, i split with my ex-wife after 16 year, for no other reason than, we were not the people we used to be.. it is sad, but life goes on.. its not easy, and it takes time, but you will get there, and you will be happy again.. all the best
Prayers to you both
So sorry to hear this Neal – big fan of your work and will continue to be a fan of what you do in whatever format you plan. Hope it all goes well in future ventures.
I am so sorry to hear this Neal. Sometimes, God chooses to meet us in the storms, rather than rescuing us from them. We will be praying for yall.
I’m sad to hear of the divorce, and hope you both find peace and joy, soon.
You both will be in my good thoughts.
I always like to bring a little humor to a difficult situation. I think you two should watch this video together before anything is official!
While I’m glad you are at a point you can say you are “doing pretty okay” I still think that sucks. I loved that you two, as a couple, worked together for so long making geekbrief. You are in my prayers.
Marvelous and poignant comment. Lucid and grace-filled and I think, for any thoughtful mind, both authentic and painful. Bravo and good luck.
Hey Neal,
I’m very sorry to hear about what you and Luria are going through. You’re both in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you can ignore those judging you both so harshly and simply find peace and happiness. You both deserve it.
John Hays
@JohnHays
Neal, I’ve read these blog comments and while I’m grateful for the ones who are supporting both of you, as your mother, my maternal instinct rebels on the ones who seem to think you had any choice in this. I personally know the efforts you went to in trying to get Luria to go to counseling or anything to work this out. I know that it takes two to make it work and two to break it but you can’t fix it alone. And she’s not willing to give it a try. Love ya!
Wow…
Grace to you both and for you both.
So; I will presume that another door is, has or is about to open.
I only know of you and Cali… from your podcasts. I am at a loss because I’m outside looking in and I just love your work… I know that “Faith” has been a part of the lifestyle that has been presented on Geekbrief: I hope that you will both continue to be good friends. I have watched every episode and I’ll never forget the fun of Six sixty six, What a cute little kitty…
You and Cali are in my thoughts and prayers.
Grace.
When I clicked on her tweet, I so thought it was going to be a pregnancy announcement. Sad beyond words. Our church uses a program called divorce care (http://www.divorcecare.org) with as much success as you can have in a situation like this. Maybe they could help you heal. I will pray for healing and peace all around. Only God knows what’s in your hearts. But He sees the full depths of the pain, and He has the power to heal deep.
I’m sorry for your loss. You appear to know three very important things, and I would just spend my short note reinforcing them.
1. God loves you.
2. Life goes on.
3. You need not grieve alone.
It’s difficult to convey support and fellowship to someone you don’t know (or to receive it from someone you don’t know), but for what it’s worth, you have mine if you need it.
God bless.
Nell, I hope guys can keep working together but I guess if you are both in different locations that will not be possible for very long. On a personal note, I hope you both find peace and happiness.
Mate,
I know it was said “Unfortunately, some marriages just don’t work out”. Frankly that comment is fatalist. I dare say it sounds like you’ve worked it as hard as you can. As you know its your job to love her as Christ loved the church. I suspect you did and should continue to do a great job.
Some excellent comments on your blog as well as encouragement. Its worth while to work outside what the world wants – not the persuit of happiness, its the persuit of God.
_David
Neal… You know I’ve been enjoying you both, pre-Brief. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Grace, mercy, and geek.
Doug; Prov 3:5
This is a sad thing. I’m sorry for you. I still don’t like you or your ridiculous religion, but I can feel empathy for you. It’s a sad fact that some relationships are based on one half punching way out of their weight class – I guess this is the result. Mind how you go, and get a life outside of the web dude. Move on. Sever ties. You’ll end up hurting less.
Neal,
I’ve enjoyed Geekbrief all these years and have always thought that you two had some of the neatest jobs around. It’s sad to hear the news and to contemplate the changes yet to come. You’ve been a pioneer and have great experience, so I’m sure you’ll do well professionally. Losing such a neat relationship will be tough, no doubt, but speaking from experience I’m sure you’ll do OK . Hang in there. There are people who care about you.
It’s heartbreaking to hear such news. Hope it all works out for you both.
I must say, I thought all of the geek briefs were professional, and I never got a hint of what was going on behind the scenes.
Good luck to you both.
I’m so sorry to hear the news.
Geekbrief is on my desktop
And I’ve followed Cali on
Twitter since I joined.
Check out “Love Life for Every
Married Couple” by Ed Wheat.
God Bless You Both,
- Lee
@someone, I understand what you’re saying when you say you don’t like me or my ridiculous religion. I know very much what it means to not like me. I’ve done that most of my life. I never really think I have a religion. I believe in God and and I believe He sent His son to die so we can live. That belief has always worked for me and that makes it matter to me. I never expect to convince anyone else that it might matter to them, but I always think if life isn’t working, believing in God’s grace and mercy is worth a try. My life has always rocked when I’ve trusted God and it’s always rolled when I didn’t.
First of all, Thank You! I’ve been watching GeekBrief for I don’t even know how long — 2 or 3 years maybe? — and I never once said ‘thanks’. So, thank you both! I was sad to read the news of your current personal events. That sucks. Not too much else to say about it really. I got divorced last year. 2009 was not entirely pleasant, but I did have some shiny, happy moments thanks to GeekBrief.TV (and the awesome folks over at CNET’s Gadgettes and Buzz Out Loud). We are getting along okay now, which also means joint custody of 2 amazing Golden Retrievers. Anyway, just want you both to know I’m thinking of you. — phil
Best wishes for your new life, I’m sure you’ll be fine after a brief time. Be well Neil.
Appreciate both of you, sad for both of you, thinking of both of you, wishing only good things for both of you.
So sorry to just read this today. No words, just a promise to life you in prayer.
I’m saddened and heart broken at reading this.
I wish you well.
Neal and Luria,
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
John