140 Characters at a Time

The complexity that goes into making each person’s life unique is one of the reasons those of us who cling to the concepts of grace and mercy love those ideas so much. It’s easy for me to assume I understand someone’s life and situation and make judgements about it. Even though I try not to, I do it all the time. I see politicians on TV. I listen to what they say, I read about their lives, I watch how they act, and then I round out the picture with assumption. We do the same thing collectively with celebrities. We do the same thing with friends. The more we care about someone, the more willing we are to be to dig deep and get an accurate understanding of who a person is and what their life is about. Even with the people we’re closest to though, we only get a partial picture.

When we share bits and pieces of our lives 140 characters at a time on Twitter, people read what we write, take what they know about us and fill in the blanks.

One day earlier this month something facinating happend on Twitter. Anyone following @calilewis and @nealcampbell might have seen two tweets about Oscar Wilde, one from each of us. The easy assumption was that the two tweets were related. I tweeted, “@2degreesofalie Oscar Wilde.” One hour later Cali tweeted, “One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. - Oscar Wilde”

Oscar Wilde is way off topic for both Cali and me. Anyone paying close attention to both of us would assume the two tweets were related. Since my tweet came first, it would be easy to assume Cali saw me tweet Oscar Wilde and then tweeted an Oscar Wilde quote. But she didn’t. She hadn’t read my tweets that day and I hadn’t read hers. My tweet was an answer to a trivia question. Cali just happend to tweet that Oscar Wilde quote an hour later by coincidence.

Last night I tweeted a reference to a Sarah Silverman tweet. I think Sarah is one of the most brilliant comedians alive, but if you don’t know her sense of humor, you could very easily be offended. I would re-tweet her all the time, but I don’t because I fear people reading wouldn’t get the jokes. Sarah tweeted, “F**k-ups always have friends named Neil.” I tweeted, “I feel the need to RT @SarahKSilverman, but I don’t feel comfortable re-tweeting salty language. ”

Someone made the assumption that my reference to that tweet had something to do with Cali. It didn’t have anything to do with anything other than Sarah making fun of the name “Neil” and me thinking her joke was funny just like I think most of her jokes are funny. I clarified everything with the guy on DM so everything is good, but I wanted to write this post because I’m working on assuming the best about people and sometimes it’s a challenge for me.

Sharing our lives with each other in real life and online is a risky proposition. We risk offending each other, hurting each other and even just misunderstanding each other. It’s even riskier when we share our lives 140 characters at a time. It’s also rewarding and well worth the risk. The reward of sharing our lives is that we encourage each other, inspire each other, and when were really lucky, we make each other smile.

1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” It was written at a time when mirrors weren’t anything like what we have now. I think of  a reflection in water or a stainless steel pan when I read that. The verse is about understanding God, but the idea of seeing things imperfectly, or “in part” like the older translations say, applies to how we understand each other too.

My goal is to assume more good things about people than bad things. I don’t always reach that goal, but it’s still the goal.