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A Hard Reset and Fresh Install … personal edition

Posted by Neal Campbell on Jan 22, 2010 in acceptance, alcohol | 11 comments

Even though I have a Masters Degree in Psychological Counseling, it didn’t equip me with objectivity about myself. I have stuff from my childhood and teenage years that I brought to my adult life and marriage that I used as an excuse to be shy and self-loathing. None of my personal baggage is big enough that it would have been that hard to overcome, but I’ve still allowed it to cripple me socially.

I’ve been reaching out to a handful of friends, and I started personal counseling this past week. I’ve learned a lot and had some breakthroughs that have allowed me to come outside my head for the first time in a long time.

I grew up listening to gospel music and always liked those songs about laying down burdens and moving on, but never really took them to heart. It turns out, it’s a lot less hard than I thought it would be.

I gave up alcohol at the end of last year and it’s just been amazing how quickly years of missing joy rushed back into my life. I buried all the baggage I carried in drinking at night and obsession about doing a great job with GeekBrief.TV during the day. I can’t exactly give up work, but I am taking a couple of weeks off. Except for helping out with the writing, Cali and Dave Curlee are taking up the slack so I have the opportunity to perform a hard reset on my internal OS.

Last night, I went with social media guru, Giovanni Gallucci to hear a guy I admire so much in the world of new and social media, Chris Brogan. It was my second time to hear him speak. The first time, I walked away inspired to think about what he said. The second time I walked away inspired to do what he said. His message is pretty simple: do things for people without any expectation they’ll do anything in return for you. In two words … BE NICE!

So here’s my question for anyone who reads this. As I take time off work to reset, what can I do for you?

Existential Crisis at Work

Posted by Neal Campbell on Oct 3, 2009 in acceptance, alcohol, beliefs, GOD, gospel, love, musings, rant | 1 comment

I’m going through an existential crisis. It ultimately feels like it’s going to be a good thing, but it’s not all that fun right now.

The Wikipedia entry about what an existential is crisis sums it up well:

Existential crisis, derived from existentialism, is a stage of development at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose or value; whether their parents, teachers, and loved ones truly act in their best interest; whether the values they have been taught have any merit; and whether their religious upbringing may or may not be founded in reality.

For me it starts with the question, “What is my life going to be about?” and I guess I started asking the question when all my gospel music heros started dying. It really feels like I spent much of the last couple years in mourning. It’s been too much, but I don’t know how I could have not gone through the mourning. After Michael Jackson died, I started to finally understand what I was experiencing.

After I understood what was going on internally, I started dealing with it and coming out of crisis mode. Well, last week a dear friend’s mother passed away and the funeral was yesterday. Loosing people is my trigger. I turned on the gospel music and went to the dark place where I feel isolated and uncertain about the meaning of life.

Right now I’m bouncing around in a state of cognitive dissonance where what I think and believe doesn’t fit into any of the political, religious or social systems I know about yet. It’s a process of discovery and hope, but comes with a bit of fear since I can’t know how the story will end.

The best part about the journey is that my wife loves me and inspires me with an infinite sense of optimism that it’s all going to be okay.

Alberta Straub’s Spa Mix

Posted by Neal Campbell on Jul 6, 2008 in alcohol, Recipe | 5 comments

The world’s greatest cocktail artist (because bartender doesn’t begin to speak to her talent) is Alberta Straub. One of the most memorable nights of my life was at a private party at SXSW 2007 where Alberta was making drinks.

Many of her creations involve a replacement for simple syrup she calls Spa Mix. She calls it that because it makes adult beverages taste and seem healthy and refreshing. We have avoided making it because it seems complicated. We made our first batch just now at it wasn’t difficult at all.

Here’s what it takes:

4-5 Cucumbers
22oz Container of Agave Nectar
6-7 ounces of Lime or Lemon Juice
A small handful of coriander, cardamom and juniper berries
2 Bay Leafs

Alberta explains how to put it all together on this episode of Cocktails on the Fly:

Neal’s Chewy Bloody Mary Mix

Posted by Neal Campbell on Apr 13, 2008 in alcohol, Recipe, tomatoes | 3 comments

I call it a Chewy Bloody Mary because it has tiny little chewy chunks of vegetables in it. To make it you’ll need:

1 Quart of Campbell’s Tomato Juice
1 Large Lemon
4-5 Celery Stalks
4 Cloves of Garlic
5 Tbps. of Worcestershire Sauce
5 Tbps. of Pickle Juice
4+ Tbps. of Trappy’s Red Devil Cayenne Pepper Sauce
Salt
A Food Processor

Juice the lemon and pour juice into the food processor along with the Worcestershire Sauce, the Pickle Juice and the Pepper Sauce. Puree the garlic cloves and celery stalks.

Pour the pureed mixture into a pitcher with the tomato juice. Salt to taste. Mix and refrigerate over night.

The mix is excellent and refreshing with or without vodka. I typically drink it without.

Gospel Bar

Posted by Neal Campbell on Oct 24, 2007 in acceptance, alcohol, gospel | 0 comments

During our week off from Geek Brief, I’m watching some old videos of me singing gospel on TV and on stage. I’m going to work on posting that stuff to youtube.

I did a google search for “gospel bar” and got this. I’d rather be in a room of outcasts that love Jesus than any room filled with acceptable people. I want so much to hold a worship service in a bar, a place where people feel comfortable and accepted.

Jesus was a friend to tax collectors and drunkards. As a drunkard who is dubious of tax collectors, I can dig a God who puts those two thing together.

The Modern Dunkard

Posted by Neal Campbell on Sep 16, 2007 in alcohol, books, movies | 0 comments

Over the weekend, I read a book called The Modern Drunkard. As a lover of alcohol, I expected very much from this book, but boy was I ever disappointed. Rather than a celebration of the almighty drink, this book was a celebration of party culture. I didn’t identify with the book at all. It listed 25 Signs that You Might be a Drunkard and I only identified with one!

I skimmed through so much of the partying stuff, I may have missed what should be a necessary reference to The Thin Man series of movies. I don’t buy anyone’s appreciation for alcohol if they don’t have some allegiance to The Thin Man.